Practice. Practice. Trying to listen to my voice here.
I’m practicing on listening, listening intently to my voice, the voice in my head, my true self, my truest self, so when I write stories, when I write and edit, that what I want to say in my head is there, right on the paper or screen.
Usually I prefer writing on paper. I do. I wish I can continue but when I start editing after writing longhand, for some reason, I think it’s the fact that I’m hyping up the words too much, that I feel like the whole world will be reading, and that I should make sure that I sound like this person or that, and I wholly neglect that voice which I haven’t found yet.
So I don’t sound like myself, at least, I don’t think so, and that bogs me down because there’s so much weight on every word and every sentence, trying to make it perfect, “clean as a bone” as Baldwin once said, and no matter how many times I try, no matter how many times I revise and edit, I come back to a place where I feel that nothing is sufficient.